Top 10 Cheese Accompaniments: Mustache, anyone?

Welcome to the Top 10 List of Cheese Accompaniments. Some of these will be familiar, but we also threw in a few that you might not think of.

10. A fresh, crusty baguette: Fresh is the key here. If it was baked yesterday, it’s not fresh.
9. A mustache: Honestly, mustaches are everywhere these days. Why not on your cheese?
8. Fresh figs: ‘Tis the season for these lovely jewels to be flooding the market. If you really want to work the theme, also acquire some fig leaves and host your party dressed as Adam and Eve. It’s a win/win.
7. Brad Pitt: Because the only thing better than eating cheese is eating cheese with Brad Pitt, obviously.
6. Quince paste: Classic. European. A transformative experience.
5. Raisin walnut bread: Sweet and crunchy. Every creamy cheese has a poster of raisin walnut bread on its wall, a la David Cassidy.
4. Cornichons: Little tiny pickles which are not only delightfully sour, but totally adorable. An added benefit: your male guests will have fun trading tiny-pickle-related insults, if you catch my drift.
3. Honey: Not just because it’s sweet, but because the way it’s made is kinda gross, just like cheese.
2. A nice, energetic cicada: Gives you that intense crunch and a “wiggly quality” that most jams just can’t achieve. Plus, they’re local.
1. Nothing at all: Cheese needs no adornment in order to be the world’s perfect food, right?????